Expert advice on settling in in a new country

Many people think about moving abroad at some point in their lives, myself included. But no matter how sweet these ‘escapes’ sound, the road ahead isn’t always set for a smooth ride. Especially the part where you actually have to start your new life in a new country. To give you an impression of what you can expect, I would like to share some expert advice on settling in in a new country.

The experts? A group of more than a hundred women who live all over the world. They shared their best tips with me, on how they managed to settle in and what they would advise you to do in a similar situation.

The most important aspect of advice on settling in in a new country: Language & Culture

There is one thing that all women agreed upon straight away: get familiair with the local language culture. Of course this sounds pretty straight forward. But no matter how logical it sounds, it can be quite easy to skip this important first step. These days it is very common that you can get around fine by communicating in English everywhere. This takes away the ‘urgency’ to learn a local language. But, if you do take the step, you will find it easier to make a connection with locals, that can turn into a friendship.

Of course there are languages that are very difficult to master, like Chinese or Arabic. But just by learning the basics, you can earn a big deal of respect, because it is very much appreciated.

The same goes for learning about the culture and history of a country.

This is not only important for countries that differ from our western culture by the way! When I moved to Switzerland I noticed quite some differences in the everyday life, despite it being close to my home country. For example, when you join a class or a lecture it is very common to shake hands with all your classmates before it starts. Or did you know that Sunday is still a day of rest in Switzerland? They can actually forbid you to do laundry on a Sunday or to undertake any activities that create a lot of noise. By being aware of these little things, I managed to blend in with the locals just a bit easier.

Putting things in perspective

If you know more about the history and culture of a country, it can also help you to put things into perspective. People can behave different than you are used to and it can lead to false interpretations. Reading books about a country or browsing the web can open your eyes on certain things.

Getting familiair with language and culture, is also something you can already do whilst you prepare for moving abroad. It is not only practical, it is also an extra way to get excited about your upcoming move.

Make sure to have some savings on the bank

Another great piece of advice on settling in in a new country is organize your savings! If you have the tendency to get stressed out about money, it is wise to have a savings account that can at least bridge a couple months. Moving abroad comes with a variety of costs. Which you can expense on some occasions, but it is very likely that you will have to pay for things yourself as well.

Especially housing costs can add up. Besides that, you might want to decorate your new home. There are always some unexpected costs that you face when moving abroad. When we moved to Switzerland for instance, we discovered that not only rent prices were a lot higher, we were also obliged to put 3 months rent on a special bank account. This money is a deposit that should be able cover potential damages to our apartment.

When you are moving abroad, there are already so many things that can cause some stress. If you arrange your finances, you have one thing less to worry about.

Be openminded

In most cases, people who get excited by the idea of moving abroad, already have an open mind. They are ready to explore the world and learn about new cultures. But, I also notice that I sometimes have the tendency to compare things to my home country. Which is not only unrealistic, because that is not where I live anymore, it is also pointless.

I decided to take a leap of fate and move abroad, exactly because it is different and because it can be challenging sometimes. Of course it is also something you can develop along the way. A great example of this (and my personal victory) is career. I always, like many expat spouses, used to have a nice job that would earn me a decent salary. In a new country, it is not a guarantee that you will be able to maintain your career. It took me more than a year before I found a job. In the meantime it was important that I kept all options open, by doing volunteer work or contributing my knowledge to other purposes.

I find that an open mind can help you a great deal in a variety of situations.

Currently we face a situation that requires an open minded and flexible attitude. If I cannot look at situations this way, life abroad will be challenging. We have been planning to move to the US already for quite some time, as my husband got a promotion recently. When we were on a house hunting trip last week, we got the message that we might not end up going to the US. Instead there is a chance that we move to the UK. The fact that the movers come to pick up our stuff in 3 weeks and we still don’t know where we will end up living, is uncomfortable. I must admit that before we lived abroad, this would have freaked me out! Now, I still don’t like it, but I can accept it because I learned to deal with ‘the unexpected’.

Same goes for friendship

We all have a group of friends back home, friends that go back a long way most of the time. And if they are close friends, it is very likely that you share the same interests or passions. After all, this is the reason why you are still friends, right? When moving abroad, you cannot always ‘cherry pick’ who you want to be friends with. Besides the fact that people have a different background, their interest might be different from yours as well. It is so easy to judge people, but sometimes people who are different turn out to be such great friends. Which brings me to the next important piece of advice on settling in in a new country: social life!

Get active and get a social life!

Starting up a social life was my first priority! This also turned out to be important for many of the women that replied to my question. In fact, it was one of the tips that they mentioned most in their advice on settling in in a new country.

After leaving my friends and family behind in the Netherlands, it was important to me to find people to hang out with. My experience is that connecting with people within the expat circle is quite easy. Everybody is open to meet new people and there are a lot of events where you can take part.

But, it is also important to look outside of the expat circle. Or it could be that the place where you end up going is not a typical expat destination. Despite that it will take more effort, there are many things that you can do, to meet new people.

Find a job

For most people this will seem like a logical step to take. Working means that you interact with people on a daily basis and chances to meet people you can get along with increase.

Volunteer

When working is not an option, or when you have an unlimited source of energy, consider to volunteer. If you find a cause that you believe in, it is very likely to find likeminded people who share your interests.

Get active

Any type of sports is a great way to meet new people. Whether you join a hiking group or take up a team sport you will be able to interact with others. The fact that you will also stay in shape is an extra incentive of course 

Expand your list of hobbies

If you think about it, I am sure there is always that one hobby that you wanted to take on, but always found a reason not to. The issue could be a lack of time or the fact that it might be difficult. When starting a life abroad, it is time to let go of any arguments not to invest time in a hobby. Whether it is a painting class you want to join or play a music instrument, these and many more hobbies are a great way to meet new people. It might sound silly, but I started my blog as a hobby and it turned out to be a great way to be part of a community. I met  a lot of great people that I can interact with on a daily base.

Visit a community center or church group

This is something I have not yet done myself. But some of the women in the group succeeded in developing great friendships this way. In most countries I think this is a good option that you could consider. In Switzerland the local church community also offers free language courses for people who want to improve their knowledge of the local language. So it can often help you also in your personal development.

Look for fellow countrymen or -women to share your experiences with

Sometimes it is great to talk to people in your own language who share the same cultural background as you do. You can find a representation of most nationalities in different parts of the world. Look out for Facebook groups, meet-up groups or other online/offline platforms where you can connect with them.

Prepare yourself for up’s and down’s

It is a fact, proven through personal experiences but also through a lot of research, living abroad comes with up’s and down’s. If you would google for ‘cultural adaptation curve’, you will see the exact same thing as I am about to describe.

The first 3 to 6 months will feel like a great holiday, everything is new, your live feels adventurous and this will make you feel euphoric. But then comes the time of realization: your life will not really change! In fact, just like in your old life, things will not be perfect, although the weather might be better ;-). You might start to miss things from your home country or feel that it is difficult to adapt to a new culture. Local things that you thought were exotic at first, might become annoying or can make you feel like an outsider in this strange country.

And then there is always that one struggle that keeps devouering your energy… Like not being able to find a job or the difficulty of developing a true friendship. But let’s face it, these things take time! So allow yourself to take this time. Even though it is easy to say it, in reality it is difficult, I am aware of that. But don’t lose hope yet, things will get better and you will settle in fine eventually.

Accept the differences

It is important to always keep in mind that things will be different than that you are used to. Yes, the local peanut butter will have a different taste to it, but that doesn’t mean that it is bad. These are things you have to deal with and an open mind will help you a lot. If you keep looking at things from your own local perspective, it will be very challenging to adapt to a new life abroad. Embrace the differences and enrich your life by learning from them.

Last but not least: Don’t forget to enjoy yourself!

Living abroad was my dream since I was 18 and it gave me everything I hoped for and more! Despite some of the bumps you may find on your path, never forget that it is wonderful! After all;

• Every day is a day of new discoveries;
• Living abroad allows you to explore new parts of the world;
• You get to know yourself through the up’s and down’s expat life brings you;
• You make new friendships that enrich your life;
• It forces you to learn new a new language;
• Living abroad makes you a stronger person;
• You live a life that many people can only dream of;
• You will learn to adapt to all sorts of different situations that life has to offer;
• No matter how long you will stay abroad, it is something to be proud of!

Please feel free to share any advice I might have forgotten in the comment section below!